Lady Sparklefists Watches Yu-Gi-Oh!

Episode 55; the episode where none of my favourite characters show up except Yugi I guess and that barely counts and he didn’t even do anything cool or anything. 

So Kaiba’s announced Battle City - on pretty much no notice whatsoever, it starts tomorrow - and everyone’s excited. Yugi et al are interested in the new rules and the forfeit, or “Ante” (in English) as they call it.

Although it’s pretty nebulously defined in the subtitles. Very unclear if it’s supposed to be the single rarest card from the losing player or, as here, just any rare card, as agreed at the beginning of the duel. Who knows?

Jounouchi isn’t worried, even though he has a special bond with his Red Eyes.

VERY special.

Yugi isn’t worried either, but he is surprised that Yami’s interested in entering Battle City, since he would have thought the Ante would put him off.

Yami hasn’t told him about the stone tablet or Ishizu, and Anzu seems to be finding it kind of hard to keep the secret from Yugi. She figures it won’t be long before Yami tells him anyway, cause they’re so close. Emotionally and, like, literally.

The gang goes to the card shop Yami and Anzu visited on their “date” to pick up DUEL DISKS since you need one to enter. Turns out, Kaiba has
a) compiled data on all the Duelists (ever? globally? in Domino? likely to come to Battle City?) and
b) assigned them a rank, and
c) decreed anyone at level 5 or higher to be entitled to a free Duel Disk. I dunno how much those things cost, but I bet it’s a LOT.

“Yugi Mutou” on the system has the highest possible rank (odds on Kaiba assigning Level 8 to only himself and Yugi/Yami?) and also a PHOTO OF YAMI (odds on Kaiba taking photos from Duelist Kingdom footage, since Pegasus had such extensive surveillance and Kaiba hacked into his system?). He’s also Duelist #007. I wonder who gets to be in the system ahead of him, aside from Kaiba? We all know Kaiba is Duelist #001. Beta testers? Mokuba? 

Jounouchi, on the other hand, gets to be a Level 2 with a specific note that says “nobody” because Kaiba is a massive dick. He’s number #579 so there are hundreds of people on the system. Actually maybe there are exactly 579 duelists on the system. I wouldn’t put it past Kaiba to have Jounouchi be dead last, since he’s specifically gone out of his way to be an asshole. 

At level 2, Jounouchi doesn’t qualify, but the shopkeeper, who is, spoiler alert, one of Marik’s Ghouls, sees he has a Red Eyes and wants his Red Eyes, so he surreptitiously changes him to level 5 and pretends the computer had an error.

So Yugi and Jounouchi each get a free DUEL DISK! This is some impressive merchandising since Kaiba finalised the prototype YESTERDAY. #smh

The gang split up outside; Jounouchi runs off to go to the hospital because Shizuka is having her operation in the morning and he said he’d be there to support her while she was in hospital. Honda tells Yugi and Anzu that Jou’s a bit conflicted because obviously their mother, who raised Shizuka, will be there too, and his relationship with her isn’t great, being as how she left when he was a child with Shizuka, leaving him behind with their alcoholic father… ‘~’

Anyway don’t worry, the family drama is immediately superseded by…

I think this is supposed to be the shopkeeper, but since he’s completely changed his clothes, taken off his eye-concealing glasses and is wearing a big hood, it’s hard to say for sure. Anyway he and his two Ghoul buddies refuse to let Jou pass until he duels them, putting Red Eyes up as the Ante.

Amusingly, Jounouchi isn’t quite clear on Battle City rules, so it’s a good opportunity to introduce them to the viewers, especially since they don’t labour the point; Jou just figures stuff out, like how to summon his Red Eyes!

He gets all cocky because he’s Jounouchi because the Ghoul just defends and draws cards but that turns out to be because…

PLOT TWIST!

Turns out…

DUDE don’t tell him! Some fucking secret society you are! Jeez, why don’t you just write “we’re cheating!” on the back of your robes! There is no need to tell Jounouchi how you managed to summon Exodia. And speaking of things there is no need for…

They beat him up and physically take Red Eyes from him. They didn’t even TRY asking! Why even bother with the duel if you’re just going to fucking mug him anyway?! Just mug him first! Ffs!

Early the next morning:

… Okay. This is clearly a bonkers immature reaction. But she’s 14. When I was 14 I wanted to eat Maltesers in milk with a spoon like they were the end-game of sugary cereals (and I did and it was awesome). 14-year-olds are allowed be bonkers immature. WHO THE FUCK LET HER LOCK HERSELF IN HERE? Hospital rooms shouldn’t even be able to lock! Why did none of the nurses notice that she was working herself into a panic overnight and talk to her? The hospital shouldn’t have to rely on the teenage siblings of patients to get consent for necessary surgical procedures!

Jounouchi’s mother calls Yugi to ask if he’s seen her son.

LOOK AT THIS CUTIE! LOOK AT HIS SPARSELY STAR-SMATTERED PYJAMAS! AAAAAAHHH!

Yugi convenes the gang to look for Jounouchi! Anzu does not have her head in the game!

“It’s a fucking motorbike, you twit.”

(He borrowed it from his ~senpai~)

Honda’s the one who finds Jounouchi, who’s feeling sorry for himself on a beach cause he lost his favourite trading card.

Okay, look, mister, it’s awful that you lost your favourite card and got (needlessly) beaten up, but your teenage sister is having major surgery and specifically asked that you be there. Get over yourself!

… Woah. Honda don’t fuck around with his “get over yourself”.

He (literally) shakes some sense into Jounouchi and they race back to the hospital. (Oh, there’s a time limit, of course, to make this suspenseful; if they don’t start the surgery before noon, there’s not enough time before the surgeon has to fly back to America.)

Safety first!

Shizuka is initially unimpressed by her brother’s last minute arrival, calling him a liar for having said he’d be there to support her.

T___T

Jounouchi takes complete responsibility for being selfish and letting her down, it’s very touching.

This is as much of Jounouchi’s family as we ever see in one place. I wonder about his mother. She’s very grateful that Jou showed up and helped Shizuka face her fears and agree to the surgery. I wonder if she tried to get custody of both children but was only awarded custody of Shizuka, and thought it was better to protect Shizuka and hope for the best for Katsuya or what?

Anyway, touching moment over and surgery successful, he immediately turns his back on the lesson of sticking together and putting relationships before cardgames by vowing to get Red Eyes back by himself and not telling Yugi what happened or warning him or asking for his help.