Lady Sparklefists Watches Yu-Gi-Oh! • Episode 104, part 1: hey guess what the lawyer’s...

Episode 104, part 1: hey guess what the lawyer’s ~theme~ is!

The administrator’s theme was quotes from historical figures on the topic of battle strategies.

The personnel manager’s theme was penguins, misogyny, ecological stewardship, broadway musicals, and penguins.

So logically, the lawyer’s theme is … law.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Noah’s like, “lol, looks like none of you losers will be leaving here with a slightly-used second-hand human body!” And one of the Big Five loyally goes,

and asks to be give a chance, confident, as all mid-tier villains are, that he can succeed where his comrades have inevitably failed.

Meanwhile, in some mansion, Jounouchi decides it’s time for action!

A person can be lazy, or they can be kicking. It’s the dichotomy of man.

Amazingly, he actually KICKS A HOLE IN THE WALL and behind the wall, there’s an astonishingly conveniently placed door

… you’re an underprivileged teenage boy committing property damage, Jounouchi. YOU’RE suspicious.

Behind the door?

Ohhh! He actually says “lucky!” in English, which is pretty adorbs. And funny, since Jounouchi canonically does not speak English. Guess he thinks it’s cool. #reverseweeb

He hopes he’ll find the others back on the Battle Ship and Kaiba uncharacteristically waiting for him before they take off, but instead, he finds no one but a still-comatose Mai. Or is she?

He’s barely got finished telling her about how he’s totally going to kick Malik’s ass on her behalf (he is not) when she considerately but eerily silently just gets up.

And inconsiderately and loudly starts speaking in a man’s voice.

This is just, SO unnecessary. The only possible justification is that Mr Lawyer thinks that this’ll rattle Jou and gain him the advantage in the duel.

Or I guess he just loves dress-up.

Okay so then he turns back into the digital version of himself and I gotta show you this process cause it’s fuuuuuuuuuucked

okay, okay, all good so far

weirdly sort of looks like Yami through the eyes of a very drunk person?

… leaning towards Yami Malik crossed with an alien??

… Lestat???

… oh there you go he’s turned into a coherent-looking adult man this must be – wait????

you overshot, bro! your shoulders have been over-widenated!!

Jounouchi is, justifiably, extremely pissed off, and, in possibly the most bizarre move so far in a very bizarre episode of one of the more bizarre arcs of a wildly bizarre show, the lawyer

politely offers Jounouchi his business card, as though they’re having a normal introduction. Even weirder? Jounouchi takes it!!

Jou isn’t impressed by this guy and his blatant acts of deception and cruelty

oh sweet summer child!

um, gross.

This guy is a total dick, he asks Jounouchi questions (LIKE A LAWYER??) and mocks his answers, ~politely~ saying that the question must have been too hard for him. Dickwad.

Jounouchi is entirely in the right here, but his INCREDIBLE lack of anything approaching facial control is really undermining his authority.

So, he cuts to the chase

and literally, the guy is like “uh, sure, whatever you like” because THIS IS NOT TRUE. Jounouchi does not have to beat him in a card game in order to escape, or indeed, duel him at all. Jounouchi just assumed that, like all kidnappings ever in this universe, children’s trading card games will play a major role.

So the lawyer zooms them to a new location, and HONEST TO GOD, why they couldn’t just have had Jou find a door that led here, instead of going on the creepy and depressing Mai detour, is COMPLETELY BEYOND MY ABILITY TO KEN

but anyway, here we are